An introduction to conversations on identity.
Hi, everybody. My name is Zach, and this is my brand new podcast series, Stuck in the Middle. Now, usually, I hate filming myself. I hate recording myself. I hate putting myself out there in general. I'm always scared people are going to laugh at me or make fun of something that I say. But today I've decided to take a risk and start my own podcast series because I'm struggling. I'm struggling to explain to people that I am mixed race. I'm struggling to explain to people what my culture truly consists of. But what I'm struggling with the most is explaining to people that there is more to who someone is than the simple black or white. And I want to use this podcast to relieve these struggles. I don't want to carry these struggles into my 30s, so I came up with this idea. I sincerely hope it works because I think that the idea of a mixed race person is still very unclear to a lot of people, and I want to change that. This podcast will hopefully, hopefully, consist of multiple interviews with guests who are multiracial and have experiences and stories to tell us all about their lives as mixed race people, as well as people who are of one race and have an outside perspective of the whole idea of what mixed race really is.
These guests will be from multiple generations because I think that it's really important to see the perspectives of people as time moves forward. But before this all begins, I want to get into who I am. And that's the topic of today's very, very short episode because how can you listen to a podcast without knowing who's hosting it? This is an introduction of sorts. Getting to know me, I think, will help clarify why I am in fact doing this project. So as I said, my name is Zach. I am, at this current point in time, 17 years old. And yes, I am mixed race. Now, although you may not be able to see me, I will tell you right now that I do look very white. Telling people that I am mixed race is one of the most stressful things that I am required to do in life. I have to deal with people saying, Wait, really? Or making very confused judgmental faces. Because truly, there is no way on earth that such a white looking boy with a name such as Zachary could have any other racial culture in him. Well, there is a way because I am him.
I am a white looking boy with the name Zachary, who is in fact a mixed race child. I will even clarify it for you all. I will go through the same story that I tell people every single time I see that judgmental face. I've written it down here in front of me, but honestly, I've told this story so many times, I can do it off by heart. It is truly etched into my brain. My mom, Audrey, is a Scottish woman, a white woman from Scotland and has heritage that goes as far back as Ireland. My mom was born and raised in Scotland and so I was so very lucky to be given a lovely British passport, which now, thanks to Brexit, gets me into the UK and nowhere else. My father, contrary to people's assumptions, is not a white man at all. Nope. My father Achmat is a South African man who comes from Indian, Malaysian heritage. My father's side of the family has so many cultures intertwined, I cannot give you a solid answer as to what he actually is, which I like because I don't think I should need to give you a concrete answer that isn't ambiguous in the slightest.
I don't want my father's family to be categorized. They aren't Indian, they are not Malaysian, they aren't any one single culture, race or religion. My father's family is mixed. That's it. That's my answer. I've grown up in a society that simply cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I could be mixed race. I must be adopted or something of the sort. I've had to defend myself for years, defend my father's honor, in a sense. That may sound dramatic, but that's the truth. If I don't fight for people to believe that I'm mixed race, then my dad disappears. It creates the image that maybe he isn't my dad. In fact, maybe this isn't even my family. I look white. I'm not Muslim. I could not read you one line out of the Quran. Does that make me not part of my family? Do I need to go to mosque? Do I need to tan just to be part of my family? Just so I can identify with the very same people that share my surname. When my father passed away in 2020, I was beginning to lose it, lose everything connected to that side of my family.
I didn't have the skin color. I didn't have the religion nor the culture of any of my family members. The only connection I had was my father. I could no longer use physical evidence to defend my father's honor. I couldn't say at school, "here, wait, wait till my dad picks me up at the end of the day, you can ask him." I don't have anything to keep me connected anymore. Does that make me less of a Dangor? I have been trying to answer these questions for years and shock, I still cannot answer them because at the grand old age of 17 years, I must still jump through hoops to explain to people that I'm mixed race. I was told at a certain point that teenagers were meant to hit this mature phase. I am yet to see this phase amongst my schoolmates. Fighting is so tiring. I'm really tired. So I thought in my final year, the year before I graduate, I would do one final fight, one final push to truly get my point across, that I am mixed race. And I'd really prefer if you didn't classify find me as white, as Indian, as Malaysian, as anything.
Just say I'm mixed race. I'm really okay with being mixed race. I don't need to be a part of this or that. I'm a part of both. And I will make that very clear, or at least I will try. I hope that this podcast achieves what I want it to. And at the end of 2023, I can leave with my head held high, knowing that I did something to help raise awareness. There needs to be an end to this idea of categorisation. But I know it won't end just because of a 17 year old's podcast, but I want to try. I think trying is very important because if I don't try, I'll forever think that I missed out on such a grand opportunity to make even the smallest of a difference. Thank you so much for listening to this first of hopefully many episodes of my podcast. This is a very, very short episode, but this is more an introduction just for you to get an understanding of what this podcast will hopefully be about and who I am. I know this can be seen as a heavy topic to some people, but I really do appreciate you sticking around until the end.
The episodes following this, as I said, will be far longer than this, but I did think it was a good idea to introduce my podcast and who I am. See you next time. Bye bye.
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